Monday, November 23, 2009

Bar Wear

New York City night life never fails to delight me. This weekend at a friend's party in a familiar east village bar was no exception. Girls were dressed in cute sequin-adorned tanks, satin blouses, belted tunics, velvet blazers, skinny jeans an adorable array of heels. Unfortunately for my female companions, the men were not sporting their bar best. Rather there was a sea of nylon, mock-necks, ball caps, and the dreaded sneakers (apparently none of these guys had caught Tim Gunn on Oprah last Thursday).

Not to fear, where there is a crime against fashion (and a few cocktails) I will do my best to rectify the situation. I spotted an offensively clad guy in his late 20's/early 30's donning a full-zip hooded sweatshirt with the hopeful collar of a button down peering up from underneath. I excused myself from my friends for a moment, and approached the patron. I introduced myself, and the offender seemed shocked that I was talking to him. I politely suggested that, perhaps if he wished to meet any potential mates tonight, he might lose the sweatshirt and stick with just the button down shirt beneath. He hurried to take off his sweatshirt so quickly that he forgot about the beer he held in his hand and it was tossed nosily to the floor. Immediate improvement.

Next was this man pictured above (whose face has been blurred to protect his pitiful fashion choice). While his tan corduroys are rather pleasant, the full-zip mock neck is doing just what its names suggests- it is mocking him. The crew neck red t-shirt he chose to wear under his athletic gear would have been better suited for a game of poker in the confines of his basement. The last guy on my hit list dressed in a full nylon warm-up uniform seemed beyond hope. When I asked him about what he was wearing, he informed me that he was the Brown Football coach, and his team had suffered an embarrassing loss to Columbia today (though I may not know much about college sports, I do know that losing to a team like Columbia is a particularly brutal defeat). The coach thought this somehow explained his outfit, but my expression of confusion did not change. He too took off at least the nylon jacket. My work for the night was done!


  1. You think a Brown football coach would know better.

  2. I hate all the guys wearing hoodies at bars, its gross!

  3. Not being a bar type, I find it hard to understand the dichotomy between male and female behavior/dress at such places. Another explanation for why men are from Mars and women from Venus!


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